Hello, hello!
This little baby has been sitting on my computer for quite a while. Well, actually, for so long I forgot it was there. But then I found it, and felt that now is as good a time to share it with you as any other.
You see, a long time ago, I wrote a little Top Ten of things to do to drive your wedding planner insane. It’s not a very nice list, albeit I tried to make it as funny as possible. Sadly, it is all based on past experiences (trust me, most of it doesn’t happen anymore).
The reason I didn’t post it sooner is that it might not make me look like the nicest person in the world. But now that I’ve been blogging for a while and you all know how lovely I am, I feel like the time is right.
So, here it is: The Top 10 things to do to make your planner’s life as miserable as possible:
1- Assume that because you know him/her, there are no business hours. Your wedding planner should be as available to you as possible, and planning your wedding is definitely a very important stage of your life. But calling at 2.30am because you just came up with a different idea for the décor? On your planner’s private cell phone? 6 months before the wedding? Really?
2- By all means possible, do not tell him/her what is on your mind or that you hate the color yellow. So that when your wedding day rolls around and the wedding planner shows up dressed in a beautiful pale yellow suit, you can blame them for your wedding day being “so not you”.
3- Change your budget so drastically and so close to the wedding date that even if you cancelled all the vendors you’ve already booked, the non-refundable deposits would still exceed the new budget. Then, of course, blame your wedding planner for not knowing in advance that the economy would be bad 18 months down the road.
4- Demand things that are not available in your city, province, or country. Then, when your wedding planner has finally found someone who carries that exact item halfway across the planet, you order 250 pieces and act in complete disbelief when you realize that the planner was not able to wave the shipping fees.
5- Tell your wedding planner to pick a song for the first dance, then forget to tell him/her that “Unchained Melody” reminds you of the horrible ex who left you for your best friend.
6- Call your wedding planner at 8pm on a Saturday, and when he/she tells you that they are not at the office, reply: “Well, can’t you go there now?”
7- Get completely drunk at your own wedding, then write a very angry e-mail to your wedding planner –from your honeymoon- saying you don’t understand how come the party ended so early.
8- Forget to discuss very important aspects of the wedding with your fiancé. This way, the wedding planner can set up your wedding for 127 guests when there are actually 135. Then blame your wedding planner for assuming that your fiancé knew what he was talking about.
9- Ask your wedding planner to help you with mailing the invitations. Then hand him/her a list of names with matching cities, saying: “If there’s no address, I’m sure you can just look them up on the net”. Yes, all 150 cousins living in a small city 200 miles away from Athens.
10- On the day before the wedding, hand your wedding planner an envelope with 100$ in it and say: “If they won’t let us drink tomorrow past 3am, use this to take care of the situation”. Enough said.
Voila! I hope you all don’t think I’m a terrible person now.
xoxo
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Hope these things didn’t actually happen to you. Pretty bad!
haha, well, most of them did, but at least now I can see them coming!
Hahaaa! Awesome! I can relate. I’ve played at a lot of weddings, and there was one particular bride who committed many of those offenses all by herself by:
-calling me at home at 7:00am!!! I’m a musician, I work until 2am and get up at 10.
-expecting me to find, arrange and play 2 really obscure hymns and make sure there were enough copies for her 500 guests to sing along.
-expecting me to play classical service music on the organ AND play pop songs on the piano for one of her relatives to sing to (by ear, because the singer had no sheet music for me). I am actually able to do this, but that’s not the point. She was lucky because there aren’t a lot of church organists who play pop piano music, and vice versa – she should at least appreciate that rather than just demanding it!!
-expecting me to do several rehearsals for free
geez.
So in case anyone is wondering why musicians charge “so much” (peanuts compared to what plumbers and lawyers charge, so deal with it), THAT is why. Sure we love music, but playing weddings for bridezillas is WORK, not FUN. Ok??
I love your list! Writers get crazy stuff like this too. Here’s just a hint:
- asking right off the bat why the prices are so high, “don’t you like writing?” yes. yes I do. But I don’t like doing it for free, for you.
- assigning a change Friday after 7pm and wondering why it’s not done Monday at 8:30 am. “I thought all you creative types were night owls!”
- and finally, one from my musician honey who worked on a film and was told by the director to make the incidental music “edgier”. What’s that? more guitar? less guitar?