Hello everyone!
I feel terrible, as I skipped my “tip of the week” last week. It’s been absolutely hectic here in our office, as wedding season is now only a few short weeks away. I have been spending a lot of time with my clients preparing their wedding day schedules, and inevitably one question always pops up: What about the “traditional”? What has to stay? What can go?
So I’ve decided that today’s tip will be all about traditions. Some are old, some are new, and depending on the couple, some are altogether obsolete. Still, there is something nice about traditions. They are what our parents did, and their parents did before them, and their parents’ parents did way back when. Traditions attach us to our history and give us a sense of belonging. And when it comes to weddings, they also usually make our parents happy.
For the sake of keeping this post as short as possible, I will stick to our predominantly Anglo-Saxon/European traditions. I do promise you that I will eventually pop something up about other cultures’ traditions.
1- Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue: I have to say, this one is probably my favorite tradition of all. Originating in England sometime around the 16th century, this tradition carries the following meaning:
Something old: To remind the bride of her past and attachment to her family.
Something new: For optimism and hope in regards to her new nuptials.
Something borrowed: This item is usually borrowed from a happily married friend, and is supposed to confer good fortune to the newlywed couple.
Something blue: Blue being considered the color of purity, this item is a good luck charm and promises the bride that her groom will be true to her.
And the best part is, you can incorporate this into your wedding and be very discrete about it. Something old can be a piece of jewelry or a veil that has been in your family for generations. Something new is usually your dress or shoes, so that’s no biggie. Something borrowed can again be jewelry, perhaps your grandmother’s pearls or your mother’s clutch. And something blue can be hidden (think lacy lingerie and garter).
2- Tossing the garter: Contrary to “something old, something new”, the tossing of the garter is probably one of my very least favorite traditions. If you only knew its origins, I promise you would feel about it the same way I do. To sum it up, the tossing of the garter is a modern remainder of a medieval custom know as the “stripping of the bride”, where wedding guests tore off the bride’s garments to help the groom consummate the marriage. Enough said.
3- Bridesmaids: Originally, bridesmaids would be dressed exactly like the bride, and walked ahead of her during the processional to divert the evil spirits. This is where the famous saying comes from: “Thrice a bridesmaid, never a bride”. Today, however, this tradition has long lost its roots.
Our bridesmaids are our best friends (and obviously we’d never put them in harm’s way, a.k.a. evil spirits), our confidantes, our allies. The maid of honor holds our bouquet and helps to throw the bridal shower, among other things. If you are going for a simple, no fuss kind of wedding, it’s still very touching to your closest friends (or sisters) if you incorporate them into your bridal party. Let them wear a dress of their choice, if you’re not big on matchy-matchy outfits. Let them sit with their sweethearts at the reception. Do whatever it takes, but trust me (from experience), if you don’t make them stand by you at the altar, you might regret it some day.
4- The head table: Ah, the eternal debate! As a wedding planner, I can guarantee you that I’ve seen them all. From 24-seat extra long tables to couple-only 2-seaters, I think I’ve pretty much done them all.
Here’s how the story originally goes: Boy decides to get a bride. Boy gets his bffs and gallops off to the nearest village. Boy hides in bushes, spots a heavenly maiden, grabs her by the hair, and drags her back to his village. Then boy makes said maiden his bride, and calls the entire village to a feast to come and look at his bride. Hence, the necessity for a long everyone-facing-forward kind of table.
Although tossing this tradition is still a big no-no among many cultures, more and more couples are deciding to forgo the traditional head table in lieu of something a little more intimate. So here’s some food for thought:
A rectangular table: The bride and groom still sit facing all of their guests, with either their parents or maid of honor / best man by their side. But instead of sitting everyone on only one side of the table, guests are seated along 3 sides of the table, leaving only the side directly opposite the newlyweds open. This configuration allows for easier conversation and a more intimate layout.
Twelve’s a crowd: If your bridal party is overwhelmingly large, try to split the head table into 2 or 3 smaller tables. One option that seems to work really well is to keep the head table for the newlyweds and their maid of honor / best man. You can then have 2 tables right in front of the head table, one for each family (think parents, grandparents, etc).
The sweetheart table: The sweetheart table is altogether unconventional, but can work really well given the right crowd and layout. This table is only for the bride and groom, who sit side by side. Two chairs are set right in front of them, inviting different guests to come and join them at different times throughout the night. This is definitely not for the uber-traditional couple, but it allows you to enjoy all of your guests’ company without having to get up.
And there you have it! There are many, many other wedding traditions, but there just isn’t enough room to cover them all. Some are more widespread, some are family-related. Here what I’d like to know: Which traditions are you incorporating into your wedding? Which ones are you tossing?
xoxo
